How They Ended
by Ree-Dur-Old
Summary: How they ended.
1. RWBY JNPR SN

Ruby Rose died, because of her naïve outview on life, she couldn't bring herself to kill, this lead to her murder, by Ozma/Oscar/Ozpin/Ozxygen, he doesn't need a pawn that won't listen after all. She never got her Happily Ever After. If she dated Jaune or something maybe she would have lived.

Weiss Schnee died, because she was a Bitch most of the time. If she was more like the Weiss in God Emperor Penguin's stories she would still be alive.

Blake Belladonna died, being a Racist Cunt, who ran away from things. If she wanted to live, to bad.

Yang Xiao long died, because... Because... Because she... was a... Lesbian? I don't know? I actually don't have a problem with how she's portrayed in Canon, yeah she has issues but they feel real enough to be there. She still died. Oh! I got it! Yang died because she loved Ruby too much.

Jaune Arc died after stopping a war, he was burned at the stake for his crimes. They say his soul ascended the Cycle of Reincarnation and instead went to a Throne room to await being summoned as a referee in a war for a wish granting Relic.

Nora Valkyrie broke the legs of Death when it tried to take her, she was last spotted on a pancake that now reside in the Official Museum of The Queen of Sloths And Pancakes and Other Fun Things.

Pyrrha Nikos is stuck reliving her every moment at Beacon as a ghost, but she feels everything the actual Pyrrha does. She is forced to know that things will end terribly and do nothing. Trapped watching her regrets, regrets like that armour she probably only wore for her fans, what a Slut, didn't she sponsor a kid's cereal in that, how indecent, and impractical.

Lie Ren died from choking on a kebab. His final words were spoken in monotone, these were those words: "Yum! I love kebabs! I am going to proceed to swallow this five foot kebab whole! I hope I don't choke to death on this five foot kebab I am about to swallow whole." Everyone agreed that he got what he deserved.

Sun Wukong went to jail for being a Faunus in a relationship with another Faunus, that's, like, totally racist, only being attracted to animal parts is, like, totally detrimental to the over all goal of equality among human and faunus. One way **you** could contribute to further that goal is _not_ capitalize the f in faunus, as it gives the message they aren't normal and instead something to be studied or need extra attention. He was also, like, totally shallow and not at all respectful of boundaries, worst of his crimes was introducing Neptune. Sun was killed for his crimes. It was painful.

Nepturd Vasi-Whatever, was tied to a table and had his genitals painfully removed. He was then gifted immortality. He spend every moment hooked to a machine that send signals to his nerves which stimulates torture without damaging the body.


	2. TJKR SPLAC QO

Taiyang Xiao Long died, after Qrow told him about his daughters' deaths. He ran straight towards the responsible, Salem. He tried, and failed, to confront her. He died a man with nothing left to Love.

Jacques Schnee died, his son Whitley was named heir of the company, after a new Dust powered Lightbulb - _Light up your life, with SneeBulbs!_ \- exploded within his rectum.

Kali Belladonna died, some idiots thought they should stick their dicks in her ears, after sustaining serious damage to her ears, they thrusted through her skull, and to her brain. In a last ditch surgery, they managed to keep her barely alive, but now she was deaf in her top set of ears and has gained permanent brain damage. She killed herself two days later.

Raven Branwen died, while using her Semblance she was interrupted and lost control, her portal closed with only half her body through it, she lived in agony for two minutes, before bleeding out.

Saphron Arc died, I actually haven't seen season (volume?) six yet. I don't know much about her, so let's say she used a bad batch of Saffron in her food.

Professor Peter Port died. How? You might ask? How did the Great Port die? What could have possibly bested _The_ Peter? Well, I'll tell you, But first! A story. A story about a dashing young adult, fighting valiantly against foes that would make grown men shake in their boots. It all started when I- Yes, I! This story is about me.- When I walked in on my parents performing a sexual reenactment of the plane crash which took the life of my Aunt--(20k words later.)--I then turned to my new pet dolphin and said "Now. That's my doctor!" After saying farewell to the newly orphaned toddlers, I resumed my search for my next target, The elusive Silver Beaked Ostrich--(17k words later.)--"Deeper!" They demanded, so with my left hand I dug in the snow, with my right, I held the Lunar Jewel tight, I heard the cocking of their shotguns--(Gods, get to the point.)--Peter Port ate a bad grape.

Cinder Fall died, after having intercourse with her henchmen, she was diagnosed with mercury poisoning.

Li and An Ren (Kaiji Tang and Dawn M. Bennett): The parents of Lie Ren. They lived in Kuroyuri with their son, and Li was an archer. They were both officially killed when Grimm destroyed the town (Vol. 4, Ch. 10). Unofficially, they died from disappointment, a negative emotion caused by their son, he was seen eating a kebab. Their shared disappointment in Lie is what called the Grimm. So, yes Grimm killed them, but the actions of Lie caused it.

Qrow Branwen, after the deaths of his nieces, was broken. Fortunately for Qrow, Ozpin used the Relic -Jinn- to find a solution. He told Qrow that Jinn said there was a fifth Relic. One forgotten by the Gods, it is capable of bringing the dead back to life, at the cost of another's Soul. So, Qrow isn't dead, no, he's searching for the new Relic. He was told about the other cost as well, the sacrifice must be blood related. He plans to have a kid, with that kid he'll bring back Raven. Then he'll sacrifice her for Yang. Yang for Taiyang. Taiyang for Ruby... _Ruby for Summer_. But for now he'll follow Ozpin, he'll do anything to meet his goal. Nothing will stop him, not Salem, not even the Kingdoms.

Oscar Pines was scared. Ozpin wouldn't shut up, so Oscar finally relented control of his body. He hasn't got it back. An undefined amount of time spent in a black void. Slowly, but surely, he could feel himself get tired. He doesn't want to sleep. He could feel himself move, but couldn't do so himself. He could hear his voice talk, _his and Ozpin's_ , yet he can't utter a single word in this void. He couldn't do anything. He was scared. What counts as death? If he isn't himself anymore, is he dead? When the Body continues but the Soul fades, is that death? Oscar doesn't know. Does it matter? **No.** Oscar isn't scared anymore. He just sleepy. A quick nap, that's all he needs.

A Beowolf died. He wasn't an important Beowolf like Mike or Marty. Just your average Beowolf. Until this freak of a human tied him down and took his chastity, after crying his eyes out, he ran to his Mommy. She killed him for being a Slut, like that Filthy Nikos.

{End.}

It's hard to make death funny, alright. This is supposed to be a 'Heh, that's morbidly funny.' Then the 'LOL' type.

In case it wasn't clear.

Ozma took over Oscar, and has lied to Qrow about Ruby, Yang, and the new Relic.


	3. ZWEI TBPR MM

Team ZWEI died.

Their -feared across the lands- leader Zwei, ate a chocolate that someone dropped.

Winter Schnee twisted her foot ice skating, for being defeated by ice and for bringing dishonor to her family name, she followed her families ancient tradition and gutted herself on the spot.

Emerald Sustrai had a heart attack after her world was flipped when she discovered she was a bad guy.

Ilia Amitola died, maybe. She fell of a boat, and hasn't been spotted since. Some say that if you visit the grave of Blake Belladonna, you could hear her moaning.

Terra Cotta died, her death was caused from eating (out) a bad Saphron.

Dr. Bartholomew Oobleck died, after drinking an illegal energy concoction, street named _'6-E-E',_ he exploded in a mixture of corn starch and water that exhibits non-Newtonian properties.

Penny Polendina went to a bank in Vale and exchanged her previously oversized penny for four smaller quarters.

Roman Torchwick died... Or did he?

The Malachite twins

Melanie and Miltiades died, after smoking weed, they discovered who they originally were, then they had an overdose.


	4. Glynda

Glynda was rebuilding. She was the right hand woman in Ozpin circle, but now she's in charge. Now, she has all the responsibilities. She has to meet with people. She has to make deals. She has to watch over a bunch of people. She has a lot of paper... work.

 _GODS FUCKING DAMN IT!_

While Ozpin is off not doing his job! She still has the same one! Nothing has fucking changed for her.

Glynda fucking quitted.

 _Fuck that job._

Glynda went to a hotel in Vale and just smoked. While Qrow has his drinking, she has smoking. She stopped for her job, but Fuck that. As she smoked, her hand roamed down her body.

 _Fuck World Peace._

She held the cigarette with her lips and with her other hand she pulled out her Scroll. She went to her gallery and loaded the video of two team leaders in workout gear, working out. Then they started play fighting.

Her hands found her entrance, as the leaders fought each other. As they smashed their sweaty bodies together.

She's just getting started.


End file.
